Thirty (five), Flirty and Thriving: 35 Things

Its May already, my birth day was on 22nd April and of course its 5 years ago when i should feeling this thirty-flirty-thriving.  But as far as i remembered, when i 30, i just don't have a click with thriving feeling. 

Today IS the day, when i really grateful to be here, in this point. To Be Me. 

I can't being satisfied more than this. My age, my whole life is a bless. I am 35 and nothing can beat this perfect time. 

So here 35 things about me, or what i love, or what i know up until now that might be helpful for you who read. 

1.  I  love how i always (at least try) to emptied my cup.  Life is up and down indeed, and through all the pain in the past, the not-so-good experience i have. Now i know how important to be an empty cup. It gives you advantage to become more. As an empty cup, you can always ready to received what best for you in life. By becoming an empty cup, beautiful liquid will fill your cup. Sip it, breathe it in deeply. And and empty it again. You will always have the great adventure ahead. 

2.  Be Kind, Always.  I always know that i can't be a bad person. I mean, of course i have so many bad side inside me. But being bad guy? Not my cup of tea. I always thinking about others feeling before me. I always wants people love me. And it torturing me inside like hell when people start being mean to me. Instead of fight back, i always try to understand their personal character, their reason for do that. And feel sorry for them for not being able to control their emotions and behavior, so they can not humanize humans. Is my escapis-form to free my soul and my mind from feeling hell inside. 

Until now, i hassle to say NO for things or people. At least i try, i progressing on that. 

3. Despite bad people or bad things happened around me. I know that I AM LOVED. People hates me? Oh it is nothing compare how many people love me.  My family, my true greatest friends, my support system. They surrounding me and poured their purest love for me. I know that whenever i need, or wherever i go, these love will followed me and make me safe and sound.  And the great part which i being worked on is, i chasing Allah mercy now. Bismillah. 

4. I Am Enough. I am Full Enough. I learn, i seek, i found. Through the struggle life, and blood and sweat and tears. I know now that there always people who better than me. After you passed the sky, there always be a wider sky. Just throw the insecurities and sit down and relax. You are the best form of you. You did a good job. You are imperfect and thats okay. 

5. It is important to having Self Acceptance. Knowing what's your value is. Knows whats worth for you. Aware of your emotion, sad, happy, angry, dissapoint, excited, scare, even calm state is emotion. Get to know that. 

Ikhlas. Be sincere, always. 

6. Being sandwhich generation can be fun! :) 

At first, i am depressed and set high expectation when i have to be support system for my family. But then i realized, it is an answer for my prayer, long long time ago. "saya ingin menjadi tulang punggung keluarga dan menaikkan haji orang tua". 

Alhamdulillah, those 2 things is fulfilled. And nothing can beat the feeling when your parents look at you with their thankfully eyes, and sort of feeling that they proud to have me. The best feeling ever! i can stand and block the bullets war for my family. 

(trivia : https://tirto.id/beratnya-hidup-menjadi-generasi-sandwich-eeon) 


7. Having no regret in life is best feeling ever! 
Head over heals for someone? I did a confession to some man in my innocent years :)) Wants something so bad? i hard worked on it. Hate my job? I turn left and right from my education background and becoming i am right now. When a door close, another door is open. Or you can always crack the window LOL. 

8. Networking is damn important. Refer to my life principle to be kind always, i learn now that is one if my strongest advantage. By being kind, i 'kinda' make people owe to me tho. But is not that i aiming for that of course. 

We can met some people 5-10 years ago, and now she/he are the key for your big life turning point, for example. Or simply when you need simple answer for something, your networking suddenly open the path for you. Is it a good karma? Maybe.

But i love to do that, having connection and thread as many as i can. And to be honest, i'm surprise about it my self. Considering my introvert soul inside. And oh, networking with so many people from many background can give you new perspective, about love, about life, about everything!

9. Jack of All Trades. Lot of people always said, being specialist make you have more focus in your life. But, can't help i can not do that! :)) In my eyes, this world is too big and too wide and full of things to be missed. 

I have passion in art, but at the same time i also miss my old time deep diving in chemical analyst world. My heart is pounding when i going to indie cinema or classic art exhibition. The same flutter is exist when i go to 30 meters underground-laboratorium when i have training in LIPI (Lembaga Ilmu Pengetahuan Indonesia) 13-ish years ago. 

So glad that few months ago, before corona, i managed to visit 

his painting exhibition in Museum Mandiri Jakarta!

Though its just replica, i really happy because 

i didn't make it when i go to Louvre at the end 2019. 

Amazing piece that could make you shivering in middle broad daylight.

Same condition happened  to my work field right now. Am i social media person? or media analyst? Or performance marketer? Or digital strategist? Google specialist or Facebook performer? Or simply marcom manager? Hell i don't know! :D Every side of digital marketing is so attractive to me. I try to catching up with thousand update every single day. Exhausting but my happiness come from it. CANT HELP.  

Blame it to my taurus predecessor, Mr. Leonardo Davinci. 

"He is painter, sculptor, architect, geologist, cartographer, botanist, musician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, architect and technician" 

(many reference out there, but here's one :https://studyhelpersblog.wordpress.com/leonardo-da-vinci-2/)


10. Life is short, indeed. If you suddenly feel, what the hell i am going on all this time??
(in example, it happened to me currently. Omg i'm turn 35 this year, 36 next year, and so on)

Just sit back, take a deep breath and just remember all the things you have done or places you have been or the people you loved or still. For me, i have wonderful childhood, great family, pain in the ass life goals and many things. One of those memorable family moment are, i can survive with one of my family obstacle. You can read further here http://lifeischocolatebox.blogspot.com/2020/02/my-family-is-wonder-ful.html

11. Communication is everything. I mean, we don't have to graduate from Master of Communication in Harvard (dunno, are Harvard having that majors? LOL). It is just, we are human. Other people is human. We are not superheroes who has telekinetics or mind reading superpower. If something happened between us and another person, talk about it! If you feel glad to have your friends send you deli food, just F tell them! If you are wants some help or wants your related doing something for you, go ahead and talk talk talk.

You will surprise for the result.

12. Your feeling is super valid. You can angry, you can sad, you can feels so happy. Do it properly. Release you anger without hurt anyone. Cry out loud your sadness until you can see a rainbow again. 'Beat' your self when you have an mistake, but keep it short. Sad, but smile again. 

Kansha kangeki, ame arashi. 

13. Just accept the compliments! Instead of replying for "Ditya, you are good team leader and know what to do when crisis comes' with 'uhh, i try to do my best with this chaos team and overload job and yadda yadda yadda' (happened multiple times). I should be reply with just "I know i am"

:) 

14. Your idol / celeb crush is only human. Try to meet them, break your high fantasy and love them more. For me, being part of fandom for more that 12years teach me a lot of things. And give me new family. Thanks to social media, i know meeting benedict cumberbatch is not that hard. Circa 2015, representative from cumberbatch fandom here in Indonesia can meet him face to face so close! And of course she directly report to us. 

Thanks to social media too, i have big family arashian all over the world. And 'meet' arashi here at Hotel Mulia Jakarta at end of 2019 makes me at ease to let them go for hiatus :) I respect all of their decision to continue their life as ordinary people.

15. One step at a time. Do not rush a things. What it yours will comes around you. As long you do an effort for it, insha Allah. 

16. Rejection, however the pain is. Is always OK-able. It helps you grow. 

17. In life, i think we all need more Reply 1988 than Games of Thrones. If your know my reference.  

18. There is nothing such as eternal happiness, nor eternal pain. Season will change. Just hang on there. 

19. Having life dreams? Its not the only one you have. Remember, you have your support system, your family, your lovely friends. Refer to point 3, YOU ARE LOVED. 

20. Have a super wide range of genres on various entertainment it was fun! You can listen to pop song, folk song, korean pop, japan rock, japan pop, anything! You can enjoy Ready Player One, Parasite, Kingdom, Star Wars, Half of It, Hotel Del Luna, Charmed, Mission Impossible, you named it. You can bubbly chat for hours with a variety of exciting topics to discuss. 

21. We're probably never understand the things that we should know by certain age. And thats okay. 

22. The people who love you the most is YOU. Love her back.

23. Always fuel your passion. It keeps you alive. 

24. Stay hungry. Well, Mr. Job tell us this with a reason. Woth stay hungry, and keep challenging our self and keep growing a room for our creativity. The more you can grow and give to the world. Find your IKIGAI. 

25. Celebrate our life. 

26. We might be has too many things to regret in my life....as much as too many things to be grateful for. It always good to listen your inner child.

27. Change your perspective about YOU. Instead of texting ' i am tired, and bored.' we can do something like "right now i almost drained my energy, but with a good sleep and non-stop crying in a day, i can get back to my self in a way". Hypnotherapy.

28. People comes, and people go. Whining hard for a while, and then continue your life. At my case, some times i forgot people can go, leave, gone and i feel betrayed, un-loved and not worthy. But then, some people comes to fill that empty room. With a different joyful memories. And some times, just some times. People who leave us only wandering around because he/she needs their own me-time and forgot to tell us about it. And at the time they come back, they bring some life value to shared with us :)

29. Let it go. Just let it go, whatever / anything you can't take anymore.

30. For whole life i always running and try to hide with this 'monster'. I puke, i experience the anxiety when its coming, i denial for it existence. But i think, i must face the monster now. Hiding is not the option anymore, destroy it and continue to life. My monster if 'fear of failure'. What's yours?

31. You can lazy, you can become 'kaum rebahan' and sleep all day in Sunday. And thats okay.

32. Don't get panic if you feel lost. Enjoy and try to awaren of the dark forest surround you. You never know that maybe the dark woods will lead you to a another peak that more shining from your previous destination. 

33. Try to pay it forward to the world. This is self note for me. Because i know, everrryyything i got, everything i received up until now. Behind it all, the universe conspires to create billions of small moments that bring the blessings for me. And when i say 'universe' of course i believe our might Allah YME over that. 

34. Aiming for 'next life'. Well,  this is also self note. I hope i can put the world in my hands and the eternity-afterlife in my heart and mind. Bismillah. 

35. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. Carpe Diem.